Friday, August 5, 2011

Opposites DO Attract!

The other day I got to thinking how opposite the sexes are as my hubby and I put together a desk. I was barely any help at all. Eric said, "babe, this isn't rocket science." My reply: "well, close to it!" I was able to help turn the screwdriver CLOCKWISE, you know--righty tighty, lefty loosey? a few times, but it took me 3x as long to complete the task than it took Eric! Therefore, I became in charge of retrieving Piece of wood 'Letter A,' 'Letter J' and so on.

Despite how awful of a construction worker I was, our teamwork got the job done faster! I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have my man of a husband around to help me! But as I was sitting there waiting for Eric to call out, "give me screws BB," I started thinking how opposite we are! But how much we still love each other. So in recognition of how opposites attract, I wanted to compose a list of 20 things that separate men from women. Enjoy!!

1. Women: You got a new car? Awesome! What color?
Men: New car? What series? Dude my 5-speed 4738CK would kill your 6-speed CTF874.

2. Women read novels. Men read the news.

3. Women put things on the bottom stair to remind themselves it has to go upstairs
Men just walk over it!

4. Man: I need a new TV. Woman: But you already have two. Man: Yes, but I need a bigger one.

5. Men speak in sentences. Women speak in paragraphs.

6. Women: Make plans with friends and write it on their calender. If the friend doesn't call, women wait all day and then get ticked off and take it personal.
Men: Make plans the day of and if the friend doesn't  call or show, they don't call or show. No big deal.

7. A man thinks he is a better driver than a woman.. A woman thinks she is a mighty fine driver and that he better slow down and quit riding that car's butt!

8. Women want approval that the house looks clean when they spent all day cleaning it. Men come in and don't say a word. Instead, they completely miss the laundry basket when changing out of their work clothes, come into the kitchen, eat, and don't rinse their plate.

9. Women scream or get chills at the sight of a spider. Men expect the woman to go right ahead and kill it. Men, take charge!

10. If a recipe a woman tries really isn't that great, the man will say so. He will then look into the fridge for something else to eat. The woman will find every excuse to say, "well it's not too bad!" and will continue to eat it pretending it isn't that bad.

11. Men can watch an entire film without asking, "who is that?" "what does he do?" Women will need it paused and explained.

12. Women can pee with the door open. Men seem to want their privacy.

13. Men can drive without having to look at themselves in the mirror.

14. Men want to come home from work and relax. Women want men to come home from work and talk.

15. A woman looks at her receipt. A man crumbles it up in his pocket so it can be washed with the laundry.

16. Men can always wear shorts no matter what their legs look like. Women, on the other hand, forget to shave sometimes.

17. For men, wrinkles add character. For women, wrinkles add stress.

18. A wedding dress costs $3000. A rental tux, $100.

19. Men can go on a week's vacation and pack one small suitcase. Women, do I need to say it?

20. Man loves woman and woman loves man! Opposites truly attract! :)

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